|Sunday, April 4th, 2004|
this journal is friends only from now on.
|Thursday, January 15th, 2004|
benicio del toro on conan. oh yes. he sulks and wears t-shirts under his suit. wonderful.
|Monday, January 5th, 2004|
benicio del toro is the sexiest man alive. and excess baggage is my new favorite movie. quitting in may and leaving for new york in may. Current Mood: cold
|Wednesday, December 24th, 2003|
my brother brought his family guy dvd to florida. that show is so hilarious. i had no idea. florida is nice. except for my mom bitching at me constantly, its not that bad.
|Thursday, December 18th, 2003|
leaving for florida tomorrow. excited. think i may move in with my mom when i get back so i can save some money for when i move to new york. excited about that too. so tired of the shit going on at work. not enough shit going on anywhere else.
|Tuesday, December 9th, 2003|
i always get nervous before i leave for vacations. im worried that my dogs will be sad, and im going to miss them and then im worried about work and if my boss will make up some shit about me to get me fired. i just get so stressed. and ill be gone for 16 days! thats a long time. arg, thats it. and then i have to worry about being with my mom for that long a period of time. i hope i dont go crazy. i can already hear her yelling at me about my tattoos and why wont i wear a bathing suit? shit like that. and why is your hair black...and stuff. wow, i sound like i did when i was in high school. well, heres to the worst of so what. and please let my vacation be alright. ok.
|Thursday, December 4th, 2003|
|Monday, December 1st, 2003|
resigned to sit behind the others
its not so bad to be the only one alive
this song that song love song hate song
youre so bored with my life
id follow you around but this time its history
salt of the earth on an open wound
she wont miss you if you let her
im not scared to stay inside a sealed envelope
i dont know why i live inside a goddamn envelope
|Thursday, November 27th, 2003|
i believe you are sorry
i believe you are wrong
so you cant change the past
i hope ive said, what i said
what i hope to say
i wish you nothing
i believe you are always
i believe that is whats real
this does not make it right
i build it up and you knock it down
i believe you are hurting
i believe i dont care
you cant change the past
you will not make me cry
i wish i could reciprocate those feelings
have to work tomorrow Current Mood: jealous
|Tuesday, November 25th, 2003|
im alone and now im sorry
im home and now its scary
and it seems like someones coming soon.
day comes around and i dont wake up
dismiss the sounds of ill defined makeup
it counts as loud but it just leaves me cold,
i was thinking disillusioned
and you were sinking into memory.
all i do is create an illusion,
all i need is a little intrusion,
form a sound with an idea
hope to drown before i see you,
cause i was drinking my conclusion
and i was finding my necessity. Current Mood: distressed
|Monday, November 24th, 2003|
goodbye to all the ones
who left you to yourself
to be invisible
and seem impossible
dont wanna know
dont want to know
leave it to yourself
to find it somewhere else
safe outside of time
martyr of a kind
they asked me why you died
i knew the reason why
instead i gave a lie
just came to say goodbye
dont wanna know Current Mood: numb
|Sunday, November 23rd, 2003|
im forcing myself not to show any emotions right now and its actually working. i have managed to block out all negative thoughts. lets see how long this lasts.
i saw the most beautiful boy in the grocery store tonight, his name tag said, blair, front end manager. its good to see beauty in grocery stores. Current Mood: okay
|Thursday, November 20th, 2003|
i am so sick, i will never eat chinese food again, i have been puking since 2 in the morning. i forgot how much it sucks to vomit, its been that long. at this rate i will probably have lost 10 pounds by the end of the day.
|Wednesday, November 19th, 2003|
i had an incredibly vivid dream last night about clay, and it was so much like real life, that it wrecked my whole day and i have been on the verge of tears all day. i am still hurting so much, i wish i could just get over it. it still hurts so bad. so bad. i cant even explain it. shit. please go away, pleasepleasepleasepleasse.
|Sunday, November 16th, 2003|
i prefer the drunk me over the sober me.
|Friday, November 14th, 2003|
|Sunday, November 9th, 2003|
|hooray for smelly feet!
tonight at the movie theater my feet were smelling so bad that the person sitting next to me was plugging their nose during the whole movie. i am soooo fucking cool.
|Wednesday, October 29th, 2003|
just saw the texas chainsaw massacre, i dont wanna say i was disappointed, but...i was disappointed. my dog knocked over some flowers of my roommates, she is now packing her shit. people are absolutely amazing. they really are.
after my last vacation with my mom, i swore to myself that i would never go on a vacation with her again. and now im going to florida with her for two weeks in december. at least ill get to hang out with my brother.
|Monday, October 27th, 2003|
i spend my days killing animals and my nights home alone.